Friday, January 29, 2010

Just Tell Me Where... and Win

I will be in Montana by this time tomorrow.

I never thought I would be able to make it. Not after introducing my lower back to the highest peaks of a waist-height wall. My fall from grace.

Not after having the thought: I should never have been gay Clark Kent for Halloween as I crawled through the empty halls of my workplace, unable to stand. Not after trying to breakdance under a heavy blanket on a dirty floor, which turned into a broken dance when my back re-snapped. Not after making fun of Brokeback Mountain by putting my best friend’s face over Heath Ledger’s.

Do I deserve this vacation? No. Will I live? Without a doubtfire, the goal will be to extinguish myself from the pack. Be not surprised, scared, or regretful if my life ends this week. I have loved you all once, and that is enough for me.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Tasty Jamuary

Please bear my patience in a snapped steel mindtrap, I am working on my railroad tracks right now. I'm installing expensive metals and quick-switch interoperability so that, upon completion, I can breeze through life's problems at lightrail speed. I am positioning myself to complete most, if not all, of the following in the next 12 months:

  1. Buy a house, or perhaps a home
  2. Become and expert in logical argument
  3. Get lean, so lean
  4. Finish writing a book
  5. Write a short film... if it is good, write a long film
  6. Act in at least two short films (there is a filming group in Chapel Hill that I am a member of)
  7. Get a passport
  8. Get a poem published
  9. Start a business: currently in the process of creating a Limited Liability Corporation with my friends
  10. Perfect the Irish accent (voted sexiest accent of the world in 2008)
  11. Wake up at 6:30 every day
  12. Ability to lower pulse 15 bpm on command
  13. Learn Vovinam (one of my friend's bosses is teaching us Vietnamese marshal arts)
  14. Become a body language expert
  15. Become a consistent speed reader
  16. Avoid injury: this will be my greatest challenge

At the end of the month, I am going to San Jose to work for a week, and then to Montana to break every bone in my body for a week.

You want poetry? Well, I'm not the best, but I'm more than less. Here's one I wrote a few years ago, for no reason other than to make noise.

Polite Ticks

say a line is drawn between points in the night

say it starts at conception and aborts to the right

for the sake of forsaking let's spark us a Plame

to cast light on the growing miasma of shame

the issues! the issues! the waterlogged tissues!

congregations of blood scream of congressional misuse

my wires feel tapped and my country feels dead

i'll end up in jail for the books that i've read

our borders suck inward a clash of ideals

our hardworking hombres wet their backs in our fields

so let's send them back home - the American way,

or they could help torture avocados in Guacamole Bay.

even better, let's shower love on our Death Rose

You killed four children? Well that’s the way life woes

No! I killed four children, they were all in my womb!

a cut here a cut there, now there is more room!

we'll cut trees and raze taxes!

we'll plant plants and raise taxes!

what a loopy debate,

I hate red and blue states,

I elect not to bake

in this world we create.

here's my primary view:

we're hierarchically skewed,

Wow, I Can Get Political Too.