Who knew knowing was a crime?

First let's get the pupdates out of the way.

Allow me to introduce Kona and Mosey, two low-ground bots featuring the latest and greatest in hot-bark technology, wire-chew interoperability, and "hit the ground running" excrement exorcists. In fact, I'm fairly sure their favorite song is Deuces and their favorite snack would be a pinecone plugged into an electrical outlet.

Kona is a walking ball of brown energy. Mosey is a moseying sack of ambivalence, unsure about all things kinetic but damn sure that cuddling makes the world go 'round. By the way, they're sisters from different misters, chicks from different... dads. Well, you get what I mean.

Mosey: short for Moses or Mozambique

Kona: short for long in the tooth

Speaking of sisters, my sis moved down to join my house in our pursuit of all things future. We've bounced a few volleyballs around, breaking hearts and aspirations in the process. She has adopted the role of official dog trainer. The pups can now sit, lay down, moonwalk, and levitate.

My goal for this blog for this year is to "turn myself insight out." As my focus this year is brain health, I aim to add novelty to my life by never saying no (except to hugs) and pushing my learning to uncomfortable levels by deep-diving different topics every week. Currently myself and a roommate are learning about the female brain. We are making a presentation on the topic to our friends; you will either get a recording of the event or I will recount in words.

On that note, we have a new roommate from Michigan. He is someone else's childhood friend, but that doesn't mean we can't get along.

My employer may have recently made a huge mistake: my team has given me the go-ahead to create a blog that is 50% support information, 25% humor, and 25% untapped Wesley King thoughts. Talk about pushing my comfort levels to new lows... I don't know how long I can sustain the appearance of "societally well-adjusted employee" at work when I'm publishing articles encouraging the dismissal of all workers that have snakes as pets.