Tuesday, November 9, 2010

ZooBorns Escape, Transition from Cute to OMG!

I'm not yet sold on 3D movies - they can be quite a headache - but I am shocked (SHOCKED!) that there have been no plans announced to shoot a 3D movie about ZooBorns.

It's blinking because it knows
how powerful hypnosis can be.

Imagine IMAX-imizing the profits of your Zooborns empire, Andrew Bleiman and Chris Eastland. Envision an ocelot pup spinning toward you, weightless; an in vitro virtual reality Inception. Leo DiCaprio could play the lab assistant, confused over his feelings for the newborn anteater, but deftly proficient at juggling petri dishes.

Obviously the ZooBorns would escape, led by the stumbling elephant calf with photographic memory. They could StumbleUpon Tent City in the arid desert state of Arizona. There, they undoubtedly work their way through an escalating plot maze of succulent social workers, multi-dimensional assaults on their base tent, and dizzying cinematography (let Lindsay Lohan work the camera as community service, everybody wins).

Finally, the pups, calves, cubs, fawns, et ceteras and the single joey could return to the Zoo as guest judges for America's Got Cute. 

You know this film would test well among mothers, their children, atheists, and Europeans. If I were you guys, I would pull the trigger on this idea before Michael Bay gets his grubby forepaws wrapped around the concept and chokes it into the ground amidst gigantic explosions.

Slideshow of Zooborns on Wired.com

UPDATE: Somebody at ZooBorns likes the idea. Hopefully they let me help out with the script?

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